“Temptation” (a Poem)

October 15, 2013

I looked temptation in the eyes and called it by name—your name

I smiled and laughed and loved this newfound gift given to my heart and flesh and mind

Somehow forgot I my spirit and soul satisfaction

Because for now I was happy and tickled pink by his smiles and touch and words that caressed my entire being and body and conversation

I was smiling with molars that never ceased to shine

Light emanating from deep within my inner chambers

We traveled roads never journeyed and paths never crossed by the me that was present before he was

My hands became workers and soldiers committed to work for him-by him-to him in all manners and acts

I looked temptation in the eyes and called it by name—your name

In the database of my mind a red flag warned me that my pseudo-fairyland could not exist in our real world

But I justified that notion with rational discussions of ‘past distrust’

It was acceptable to love him and need him and feel satisfied through him

We both wanted justice and social consciousness, awareness spreading through out and through in this nation and our sister worlds to incite mankind to stand and fight and change their condition and not become complacent in this land of the free and home of the brave

But now I demand alone

Now I demand for him to be the Man he claimed and professed to be before the revolutions and journeys and making of love around lakes and parks and paths…

We both wanted to take long walks and recite verses and educate our minds and feed our souls with words of exhaustion and strength and longevity to continue onwards to futures where we wrapped ourselves in the other while Luther Vandross crooned in the background…

But now I dream alone

Now I have thoughts of his whispers fading into the soundtrack of my life mixing with the other apologies and confusions caused by people with a purpose of another mission that just so happened to collide with mine

Our coincidence

I looked my temptation in the eyes and chose not to walk away—then

But now I have been forced to rid myself of the foul existence that we were and were destined to be in my life

No touch or feel or word or deed could erase the void I felt when I felt I loved you on purpose on cue in spite of

I should smile laughs of joys that your heart could never provide because now I am greater than the dream I used to dream with you

Now I am the blessing you didn’t know you had until God blessed me by removing it from you

Now I can look you in the eyes and simply—walk away.

-© Renita Bryant 2013

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